Friday, September 30, 2011

30 Days of Truth: Day 4

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for...

Something I have to forgive someone for...well, this one isn't terribly hard for me. Usually I like to think of myself as a pretty mellow, easy going kind of gal. I don't usually hold grudges. I may be angry or upset for a little while, but eventually everything blows over and I'm back to normal. In general, its kind of hard for me to come up with someone or something that I am completely unforgiving about, but....there is this one thing that I just can't seem to let go of...

Let's rewind a bit...I have one particular friend. We have been friends for years! Seriously...years. I don't remember NOT knowing this person. We literally grew up together. This specific friend was one of my best friends for a long time, and he was always my very best guy friend. We were never romantic or anything like that, ever, we were always just friends. And we had a great friendship. 

Well, we grew up. His family moved away, but we still kept in touch and remained great friends, even though he lived a few hours away. Our relationship stayed pretty solid. We spoke often, discussed important decisions and events going on in each other's lives. Then, eventually, the day came when I got a phone call and found out he was getting married. 

I was happy for him. I met the girl, she seemed nice enough. She was cute, giggly, and completely girly. She was great for him as far as I was concerned. So, they get married, I attend the wedding, get them a pretty amazing wedding gift, and try to be a great friend. 

Well, as has happened with other guy friends I have had, when a romantic relationship begins, my platonic relationship with my friend gets put on the back burner, and rightfully so. I'm not disputing that. The priority in any marriage should be the spouse. So, my communication with my friend began to fizzle. We were still friends, still spoke occasionally, but it was different.

Then, the next year, his father died. It was sudden and unexpected. So, the moment I find out, I call my friend to offer my condolences, my support, and anything else that he or his family may need. However, when I call, She answers the phone. As soon as she hears my voice and I ask to speak to my friend, I hear her say to him..."It's HER...Do you really want to talk to HER?" Thankfully enough, I hear my friend say "Of course I do." So, we speak. A few days later, my family attends the funeral. And nothing else really happens. 

Well, several months later, I get a phone call from my mother asking if I had spoken to this friend recently. I tell her no, that our conversations had become fewer and farther between since his marriage. Then, my mother tells me that's why she is calling...he is getting  divorce. Turns out...he was letting her handle all the financial responsibilities of the household and she had spent EVERYTHING and had decided to leave. Seriously, she had spent every dime he had to his name, including anything he received after the death of his father. 

Even though my friendship never really got back to the way it was...I still cannot forgive this girl for what she did to my friend. I cannot let this go. It's not even my grudge to hold...but I take my friends seriously. I saw what my friend went through during this and how it affected him. In my head I know that this really isn't my business. It isn't my problem or anything for me to be concerned with, but I can't help it. I can't seem to let this one go...

1 comment:

  1. Aw man. Sounds like you two should have been together and not that wretch he married. :-(